Senseless Violence? Food Fight!

OK, so I'm writing a scene filled with senseless and cliched violence in the name of entertainment. There are pros and cons to merely thinking about doing this. Firstly, it means I get to think about beating people up with baguettes and not have to feel guilty about it. Second, for what I'm planning, it means I actually will get to film people beat one another up systematically with a variety of different foods. The downside is that I'll have an awkward time at the ER when someone gets stabbed with a breakfast bar. Ell-oh-ell, I believe.

It may clear things up if I actually tell you what I'm planning. What I'm experimenting with at this point in time is writing an action scene, namely one in which a proper food fight breaks out and people get shot with bananas, beaten with sticks of French bread and are generally owned by assorted snacks. (Spoiler: The guy with the granola bar doesn't survive very long.) This is the basic premise, idea, notion and motivation behind writing this particular collection of scenes. What can I say? I like a good action romp.

The plot is nonexistent - it doesn't need one. It's just a string of events that leads to a group of teenagers fashing weapons out of savoury items. What's to plot? Who needs a story when you're going for gory, eh?

The main problem here is writing a script which can actually be acted out by those actors that I have to hand, namely myself, Matt, Bod and, uh, that's it. Basically I need more actors, unless we want to try some really difficult camera stuff and double people up. I doubt Matt would be pleased with being cast as two different girls though. I dunno; he could be an ugly woman. I could get hold of balloons... Wait. Did I just type that?

So none of us actually have action training, though Matt's sister does some sort of super-duper martial arts thing that could be put into use somehow. And Bod tends to use dart guns anyway, so perhaps we could hand him a banana and let him loose on a tree or a muffin or something. The fact is that I have to write something producable, if that makes sense. And right now I believe I may be being a little over-ambitious. But hey! We'll see. I'll write the script, do the casting and then do a rewrite of the action so that it suits abilities. And that should work.

I should talk more about this later, but I may never get around to it. If not, then at least this made for a post. (Note that I don't even presume that it was interesting, nor good. Just saying.)

Until the next time I have something mindlessly simple to blabber on about,
   Professor Pisces