Killer Shoes, Classroom Laughs, and General Insanity

Danjo here on behalf of Dead Fishin'. This week shall go down in Dead Fish history as one of the most productive weeks ever.

Fact.

This week Professor Pisces and I have been collaborating (as I'm sure you've already heard) over Gmail to write our own TV series, called 'The Classroom'. It's been tons of fun. Pisces throws ideas around, writes some scenes, sends them to me; I do the main bulk of writing, editing and BAM! another episode done.

I've been wanting to talk about this for a while, and while I should probably be blogging elsewhere right now (blogging adultery, indeed) I wanted to say something here.

We've been wanting to collaborate for a while now but we hadn't got around to it. First it started out with Pisces sending me his work, which I critiqued and vice versa. The thought of collaborating on something original had always been in the back of our minds (mine at least) and had been bugging me until I finally had the perfect idea.

When you're just independent writers (or directors, actors, whatever) who are writing from home and can only dream of getting a job as thatparticular person, you really have to choose your projects carefully. For example, I'm a filmmaker, however I haven't made all that many films. In fact, I think the total number of short films I've actually finished and put up on YouTube (shameless self-promotion: click here!) are about ten. I've shot a lot of stuff and edited it but never really felt like it was good enough to put out for the world.

Independent artists (a general term) don't have budgets, they don't have spare time to do their projects and (quite frankly) it's a pain in the butt when we have to rely on other people to help us. That's really why I've never made anything with more than one or two people for cast and crew, because everyone has their own lives and side projects (or 'hobbies' as my parents and friends call them)and they fall to... well, the side.

It really makes me mad that I can't put together a huge production and actually spend time on something that's more than just a two minute short film. I really want to do a feature film and spend months on it, getting everything right. The truth is, a film is never finished: it escapes. We all have deadlines and budgets to attend to, which obviously means something or other in our project is going to suffer.

There are a lot of things that hold independent filmmakers (and even writers) from reaching their goal. For most it's money and time. If I had money I'd put down my 240p cellphone and buy a RED Epic (wouldn't we all?). If I had money I'd pay production companies to produce my screenplays. I'd pay for my novels to be published. If my actors and myself had an abundance of time I could do anything. Unfortunately, being independent means that everything falls to the side and you make do with what you have.

Back to the point: choosing projects carefully. Like I said, my time is valuable, and so are my resources. If I'm going to write something huge and epic I want to make sure the project has potential and make sure that I can do it. If not, I pass it on to someone else who can do it justice. When filming shorts in my neighbourhood, I only have at most one hour to get everyone down there, set up, get all the shots and wrap up production. And given that both my main actors have full-time jobs and girlfriends it's really hard to snag their free time for something like this.

Writing is kind of the same way. If you're going to write something that you want to produce yourself you have to tailor it to meet your immediate props (locations, actors, time frame, etc). And that's where choosing the right projects comes in. In all honesty you can't tailor your life to meet your project; you have to tailor you project to meet your life.

When the collaboration became a definite possibility, Pisces and I needed to create a project that fit these criteria:

• We both wanted to do it.
• We knew enough about it to make it real.
• We had enough ideas for to keep it running.
• We could actually do it over the Internet.

That, including all of the other criteria about clichés and the general troubles of writing, makes for one hard brainstorming session. Obviously, it all fit together like clockwork and we're hard at work writing it. It's been so much fun collaborating with each other because we get along great and we respect each other's boundaries/ Wait, that sounded gay. Let me rephrase: We get along great and we understand who has the final say on a project. Since I came up with the idea I control the final edit, but I'm also very open to my partner's ideas and incorporate a lot of that.

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So, that's it, my lovely lady-lumps and non-lady-lumps (ie. men). I shall return to Celtx and write away.
   Danjo the banjo

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Update: I forgot to talk about pitching 'The Classroom' to production companies. I doubt you have the patience to read through a whole other post, so I'll keep this short. We haven't really thought about pitching 'The Classroom' yet. It's not something we can really produce ourselves so we (wisely) passed this one up and voted just to write it. However, it is going to be made, whether that's ten years from now or one year from now. We have ideas for about four episodes out, and no doubt our hyperactive brains will continue to come up with more. What we're working on write now (ha, did you catch that? Yeah, me neither) is finishing the episodes and making them as funny as they can be. Adding comedy is a lot harder than you might think.

The first season should only have about six or seven episodes, just to be safe. We don't want the production company to think it's too much of a risk and not produce it. So we're going to write the first season and pitch that to our company of choice. Hopefully that will show them that this show has potential and that we're committed to making it happen.

I really didn't want that update to be another novel of a post, but it really turned out to be one. What can I say? I like to talk.

Later fools,
   Danjo the Banjo

ZFTSOI: The Plot, Pretty Much

I've decided to go with Pipistrelle's idea and write a synopsis of the plot for 'Zombies For The Sake Of It' (ZFTSOI). Unfortunately for me, I'm not terribly in love with the plot and everyone knows it. Still, I cannot simply insult Zombies. That would be terrible; an evil thing that would probably earn me a rap on the knuckles with a several mile long ruler. It would have to be fairly large; I'm not where I should be, and that is something that they know.

This is the 'plotting phase', the bit where ideas are strung together and fleshed out. It's the long-anticipated sequel to the ideas phase. Expect both of those terms to crop up in the tags section at the bottom of certain posts; click on them to check out the other ideas that are stuck in development. (Technically ZFTSOI is past ideas and plotting, but it all needs to be said anyway. It's even past casting; but then again, each character was tailor made for a specific actor anyway. Soon we'll be into production.)

Without further ado, a paragraph or two on the plot of ZFTSOI, written expressly to attract more attention than is strictly required.

When the zombie apocalypse arrives a little sooner than is expected, a group of camping teens find themselves to be the target of the undead hordes. But when you're armed with perpetual motion guns rather conveniently gifted to you by the future you, you tend to be fairly prepared for all eventualities. Well, almost.
   When zombies, guns and a fairly predictable romance collide, who shall survive when the apocalypse occurs... for the sake of it?

(Pipistrelle, you have the rights to this film. Do feel free to tell me whether anything should be changed. This particular clause of our agreement only applies to the above synopsis rather than any of my expressed opinions. Just so you know.)

The script contained some rather classic instances of deus ex machina. If you who know Latin or a bit of English theory, you'll ken my meaning. If you don't then you should look it up. It tends to crop up in a lot of things. It's not necessarily bad, but it's a little convenient. It betrays a lack of background, methinks. This is, of course, why it happens in my tales all the time. The fact that the character happens to knock over a chemistry set containing a weird set of chemicals that creates life in shoes... When a character travels back in time despite an apparent lack of the necessary technology in order to hand off some guns that never run out of ammo, therefore destroying the axiom of zombie films and endorsing a renowned paradox, and then skips off into the woods to disappear. It's all the same.

Well, ranting aside, it should make for an interesting short film. Now you know the plot. I'll talk about casting at some other point.